I know I haven’t shared a vlog with you guys in a couple weeks. I’ve been slammed with trying to get this record out. I promise as soon as I get done, I will get back to our old vlogginess. I just had to take a moment though, to share with you this amazing story of epic nastiness. Please read on…its disgusting.

It should come as news to no one that imaging is an important part of selling music. It’s obvious to anyone who has so much as dipped their toes in the cesspool of popular music. Since the slow extinction of prehistoric record labels began, I have seen many advances in this area, but right when I think maybe a fat guy will be a pop star or an old gal will have a hit, tales from American Idol and Nashville Star rise up like from the crypt and gross everyone out with their absolute lameness.

Last week a friend of mine got a call from someone putting together a band for a very well known future pop sensation. My friend was on a short list of players that were being invited to try out for the gig. He was on the list because he has not only music directed for several artists, but he has also been in a couple very well known original bands.

As the person that called him continued talking through the logistics of the gig, including salary and tour schedule, the conversation became more and more friendly. My friend started feeling pretty comfortable with this guy, and so as the phone call was winding down, he finally just decided to say what both of them were probably thinking. “Man, I know how this genre works. I’ve known guys who had to step on a scale every Friday to keep their gig. I don’t want to waste $600 flying out there and 20 minutes of your time for you to see I’m not a 26 year old hottie.”

The guy paused. He began to tell my friend that he had a command of his instrument that was unparalleled. He told him he was a monster on stage. He told him that he was more than qualified for the gig and that he was by far the best choice musically. Then he said this, “All that being said, you are far too unattractive for this gig.”

That’s right. He said it. My friend actually got him to say it.

The guy told my friend not to feel so bad and proceeded to tell him that no one in their right mind would want to work for this company or this little douchebag. He also read my friend an email from the guy that runs this particular tv show and label about what kind of musicians they were looking for to make this band. It was actually a list and it was bullet-pointed.

I don’t remember the entire list, but I have two favorite things from it. One, a bullet-point that simply said “Myspace Hair” and two, an asterisk stating that the musical talent came secondary to finding someone with the look.

I am not making this up. This is the world we live in. This is what we’re up against, so if you wanna be an idol or get the opportunity to play with one, spend your money on personal trainers instead of music teachers and headshots instead of gear.

I’d like to leave you guys with a picture of what I believe is “myspace hair.” I’ve never heard this band, so I’m not making fun of them. They could be an amazing band WITH amazing myspace hair.

An awesome airbrushed van we saw on the way to Maryville, TN. Amazing portrayal of howling wolves.

The very sexy pig that was hanging behind the stage at Ruby’s in Asheville, NC.

A few pictures from the Shed courtesy of Ms. Booe.

Hornsby’s GIANT hand trying to squish my wolfhead while I recorded scratch vocals.

The show at Exit/In was a little weird, but had its amazing moments. I want to share my appreciation of the bangsmash family for making an appearance. There were only a few members not present, and the ones in attendance formed a warm crowd in front of the giant stage.

My dear friend Mary Brooks was in town as well! She took these photos in this blog and even video-taped a couple of songs. You can see them on her facebook page. I don’t know enough about facebook to swipe them. (I’m really lame at facebook.)

Don’t forget that coming up on August 20th, Bern Kelly and I are doing a show together at the theater above Bongo Java in Belmont. Here’s a pic of Bern and I…and the word women:

Okay…well…
…today I’m doing the photo shoot for my album cover. I have a cold and feel crooopy, so I hope it doesn’t show in my pics!! I hope everyone has a great week! I get to see Cheap Trick tomorrow!
Cheers!

Sometimes, when you least expect it, life drops something terrible in your lap. Sadly, what happened this weekend to my dear friend Andrea Ownbey, felt less like a surprise than it should have. I’m writing this blog to update my friends and fans that also happen to be her friends and fans.

For those of you who don’t know, Andrea Brooke Ownbey has been the reigning Miss Howard Stern on the Howard Stern Show for years now. I think she had over 65 appearances on the show last time I checked. If you knew that, then you also know, my girl is crazy. She even has ‘crazy beautiful’ tattooed on her foot. She lives life in the fast lane and drives recklessly.

Early Monday morning, Andrea was in a severe car wreck. The first call I got was from a very close friend who informed me that they weren’t sure if Andrea was going to make it. She sustained serious injuries to her skull and had to have liquid drained off of her brain.

As of today, she is in somewhat stable condition, but still in the hospital. She has some very difficult days ahead of her and will need the love and support of her fans who she loves more than life itself.

The day of her accident I sat and looked at all the pictures and videos I had of us. I thought about all the crazy, fun, annoying, stupid times we’ve spent together. I read her myspace and watched the videos on it. You know, Andrea is pretty f’in’ awesome and despite some of the hellish adventures she’s taken me on, we’ve had some amazingly fun times together too. Patron and chocolate lava cake, forever!

I wish her all the best as she recovers and I encourage anyone who is a friend or fan of hers to go by her myspace and leave her a comment of well wishes. I know she will be checking them on her blackberry as soon as she comes to. Nothing, not even death, will keep Andrea off her blackberry.

Andrea, I know I tell you all the time, but I love you. It is an honor to be one of your BFF’s. Feel better, baby.

It’s always amusing to me to try to explain what I do to certain members of my family. Of course, my immediate family; mom, dad, brothers and sister, they get it. It’s the more removed family and friends that are the hard sell.

I get some kind of sick enjoyment out of nonchalantly answering career questions with shockingly apathetic answers. OR, for an even more confusing experience, I like to casually talk about how hard I’m ballin’ out of control–all the money I have–and see how that goes over. Of course, I don’t have lots of dough.

I’ve been working my ass off for the last year towards some rather new goals in my music career. However, in the changing industry that is the bitch I just can’t shake, its hard to know when you are moving forward, moving backward or standing still.

After informing my family that EchoXS was talking to Myspace Records and that it looked like some really cool things were in the works, like a development deal, my little bro was like, “So NOW are you going to get paid?”. Not yet, Jay, but I think its getting closer.

That delicious carrot. Is it even delicious? I don’t know, so I guess I won’t worry about it. I got this far by just doing what I love which is to write a shitload of songs and then share those songs with live audiences.
Only recently have I really hit the next level of promotion in which I’m meeting people that have the “ways and means” to take me to that magical land where a day-job doesn’t exist.

It’s an exciting adventure to play these showcases and meet these people. It’s always fun to get a ‘good news’ phone call from someone at EchoXS. I can’t say enough about the creative, supportive, motivating team at Echo. Without them I would be lost in a little bubble of me, writing songs for myself and my parents to listen to on cassette. They are inspiring and I’m so so so grateful for the opportunities they are constantly providing me.

In our industry, we can’t believe everything we hear, but we can’t ever stop believing that someone might hear. I’m so grateful for getting the chance to be heard.

When will I get paid? I don’t know, Grandpa. When I do, you’ll be the first to know!

I’ve always been a guy’s girl, and over the course of my life I’ve met many men that taught me things, gave me inspiration, or possessed traits that I looked up to. I have found that as I get busy, its easy to slip into taking people in your life for granted. However, there are moments when you get a strange snapshot of two things juxtaposed that bring contrast and clarity to each other, providing you with a fresh appreciation for how truly blessed you are.

In the last 24 hours I have been reminded of how lucky I am to have a few real men in my life. It’s funny to me how some little boys get raised to believe they have to be tough and competitive to be real men. Even more interesting is the journey they have to take to unlearn this and become open, honest and strong. Some of them never do.

Obviously, I am a lover of words. They possess strength, beauty, and understanding. They can be caresses or blows. You can fight with them, build bonds with them–influence events and outcomes. It seems to me that part of being a real man is having the strength and eloquence to use words that lift up people and make things better.

A man doesn’t have to make someone feel small to make himself feel big. A man doesn’t have to make someone wrong so that he can be right. A man chooses words that inspire and cause action. A boy chooses words that impress and cause commotion. Sometimes, that’s just not what a moment calls for. Sometimes I need your sensitivity and poise.

Be stubborn, be brave, be opinionated, but at the very root of all this, be kind. Be intelligent about how you use your words. Sensitivity is not about what you share, but what you understand. However, once you take time to listen and understand, your response will be one of strength.

Thanks to all the guys out there that inspire me with their failures as well as their victories. Your precious bromances, fatherly guidance, sweet admiration, words of wisdom, boyish charm, stubborn pride, wicked humor, belief in dreams and passion for life are fires that burn brightly in my darkest moments.